Founder’s note: This is the belief that led me to create Potluck.
For most of my adult life, I’ve watched people say the same thing in different ways: “I wish we had more community.”
They’re not wrong. We’re more connected than ever — texting constantly, scrolling endlessly, reacting in real time — and yet so many of us feel lonely, unrooted, and strangely unseen. That tension is the reason Potluck exists. Not because we need another way to communicate.
But because shared experience is more important than communication alone.
We Confuse Talking With Belonging
We’ve been told that connection comes from staying in touch. From posting updates. From reacting quickly. From keeping up.
But belonging doesn’t come from watching each other live life. It comes from living something together.
A meal where everyone brings something. A porch hang that goes longer than planned. A birthday where nobody cares if the cake is crooked.
These moments don’t look impressive online. But they do something far more important: they turn attendance into belonging. Take them away, and relationships slowly flatten into logistics and likes.
That’s not a personal failure. It’s a structural one.
Why I Believe Shared Experience Changes Everything
When people share an experience — especially a simple, ordinary one — a few things happen naturally:
· Roles replace spectatorship
· Memories replace metrics
· Responsibility gets shared
· People feel needed, not just invited
This is why I say, often and without apology: Shared experiences are shared memories.
And memories are what make relationships stick. You can’t outsource that. You can’t automate it. And you can’t replicate it through a feed.
Everyone Wants a Village —Few Want to Be a Villager
Here’s the uncomfortable truth we don’t say out loud enough: Most of us want the benefits of community without the friction of participation.
Villages don’t work because everyone agrees. They work because people show up. They bring the chips. They watch the kids. They stay a little longer than is convenient. They help clean up even when they didn’t make the mess.
That kind of togetherness takes effort. And yes — sometimes it’s awkward. But that effort is the point.
Connection isn’t built by perfection. It’s built by presence.
Why Physical Proximity Still Matters
The internet made it possible to find people exactly like us, anywhere in the world. That can be wonderful. But it also quietly taught us to avoid difference, discomfort, and the ordinary humanity of the people who live closest to us.
Real-life community asks something different:
· To sit next to people who don’t think exactly like you
· To share space without needing alignment
· To value proximity over ideology
There’s a reason the oldest rule of good gatherings still works: No politics. No religion.
Not because those things don’t matter — but because connection comes first. When people share food, laughter, and time, empathy grows naturally. No debate required.
Why Social Media Can’t Do This (and Wasn’t Meant To)
Public social platforms are optimized for reach, performance, and reaction. Community needs something else entirely:
· Privacy
· Continuity
· Shared responsibility
· A reason to show up again
Social media didn’t fail because people used it wrong. It failed because belonging doesn’t scale the way content does.
That’s why I believe the future of meaningful social life isn’t louder or larger. It’s smaller. Private. Intentional. Real.
Why Potluck Is Designed theWay It Is
Why Potluck?
Because the people you physically spend time with deserve better than a feed. Potluck is built for private, real-world gatherings — the kind that turn shared experience into shared memory.
Potluck wasn’t created to replace social media. It was created to step out of it. To support the people you actually see. The gatherings that actually happen. The relationships that actually matter.
Potluck is intentionally private. There’s no feed. No audience. No performance.
Just:
· One shared event page
· An interactive sign-up sheet that makesparticipation easy
· An event chat to keep everyone aligned
· Moments to hold onto the memories afterward
Because if it’s worth gathering, it’s worth planning well. And planning should feel like an act of care — not a burden one person carries alone.
A Small Invitation
You don’t need to rebuild community overnight. Start small. Invite a few people. Share the responsibility. Let it be imperfect.
Connection is the point. When we make space for shared experience, everything else follows.