Most of us are trying to build meaningful relationships in places that were never designed for it.
Public feeds. Group texts that never quite resolve anything. Spreadsheets passed around by one exhausted host.
We want real connection — but we’re using tools optimized for visibility, speed, and scale.
It’s no wonder togetherness feels harder than it should.
Not Everything Should Be Public
Some moments are meant to be shared widely. Most are not.
The gatherings that shape our lives — dinners, birthdays, neighborhood potlucks, standing weekly plans — thrive on privacy.
Privacy allows people to: - Relax instead of perform - Participate instead of observe - Show up imperfectly - Feel safe contributing
Belonging needs boundaries. Without them, connection thins.
Why Public Platforms Break Real Gatherings
Public social platforms do a few things very well.
They broadcast. They amplify. They optimize for attention.
But real-life gatherings need something else entirely:
- Clear expectations
- Shared responsibility
- Continuity over time
- A sense of “this is ours”
When planning lives in public or semi-public spaces, friction creeps in: - People aren’t sure if they’re actually needed - Hosts carry the full burden - Participation becomes optional instead of shared
That’s how good intentions stall.
Private Spaces Make Participation Easier
In a private social space, participation is visible — but not performative.
People can see: What’s happening - Who’s coming - How they can help
That clarity removes the awkward guesswork. Instead of asking, “Do you need anything?” People simply sign up.
Shared responsibility builds stronger communities.
Why We Built Potluck
Potluck exists because we believe shared experience is more important than communication alone.
We didn’t want to create another place to post. We wanted to create a place to plan together.
Potluck is designed as a private social platform for the people you physically spend time with.
Here’s how it supports everything we’ve talked about:
- One event page keeps plans clear and contained
- An interactive sign-up sheet makes participation obvious and shared
- An event chat keeps coordination focused on the gathering itself
- Moments hold the memories afterward — privately, for the people who were there
No feeds. No algorithms. No audience. Just the people who matter, planning something real.
Planning Is How We Lower the Barrier to Showing Up
Showing up is hard — especially when plans are fuzzy.
Potluck lowers that barrier.
When people know: - What’s happening - What’s expected - How they can contribute
Saying yes becomes easier. Planning isn’t bureaucracy – It’s hospitality.
And when planning feels shared, gatherings feel lighter.
Less stress. More joy.
Private Doesn’t Mean Isolated
Private gatherings don’t shrink our world. They strengthen it.
They give us the practice of: Being together despite difference - Sharing responsibility - Building memory through repetition
That practice carries outward — into neighborhoods, schools, and communities.
Strong public life is built on private togetherness.
Start With One Gathering
You don’t need to opt out of the internet. You just need a better place to plan the moments that matter.
Start with one dinner. One birthday. One porch hang. Use a space designed for real life.
Because if it’s worth gathering, it’s worth planning well.
This post is part of our ongoing series on why shared experience is the foundation of real community. If you’re new here, start with our flagship post: “Shared Experience Is the Point.”